ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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