All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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