I want to stick my p in your. b.
You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
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