new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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