bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
