dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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