Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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