I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
