I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
