i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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