Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
