If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
