just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
