All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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