First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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