is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
My liver just had a heart attack.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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