she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Dick very happy bro
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
