she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Randomize
