Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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