No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
