I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
