I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we're making bets on your personal life
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
