break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
