escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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