If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
