somebody snuck up and got me drunk
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
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