dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
