Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
