don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
