Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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