Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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