she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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