i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
This baby is an asshole
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
