My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
