Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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