She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
