thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
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