If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
