OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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