i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
