i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
