i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
