OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
