Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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