I faked an abortion last night.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
