real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
