So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Randomize
