just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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