I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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