This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
