I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
