"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
