my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
