there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
