She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
